Friends and Memories Read online

  ALEXI WAKEFIELD

  FRIENDS

  AND

  MEMORIES

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and events are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2016 Alexi Wakefield. All rights reserved.

  This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of quotations in a book review.

  Contents:

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter One

  The loud buzzing subsided to a quite hum. Some sort of machinery nearby, or was his brain making the noise? From the headache banging around the corners his skull he guessed the later. He opened one, then both, eyelids with an effort.

  He was in a hospital room.

  There was an IV drip going into his arm.

  A man with light brown hair and bright green eyes was looking at him expectantly. The man appeared to be in his late twenties and had a smile which rippled across his face as he said, “Sleeping beauty awake at last.”

  He winced; the green-eyed man’s voice had hurt his ears. “Who the fuck are you?”

  The man’s eyebrows went up as the rest of his face sagged down. “You don’t remember me?”

  “No.”

  After a pause the man grinned and said quickly, “Well, I’m Edward Royal, the world's greatest lover. You lusted after me for months and I was days away from giving you the greatest night of your life but was letting the anticipation build to an all-time high before-”

  “Edward?”

  “Yes?”

  “You’re full of shit.” The stream of nonsense was making his head spin.

  Edward’s face fell and his eyebrows went with it this time. “I’ve ruined my chances in less than a sentence?”

  “It was a very long sentence.”

  “I can do shorter ones. Like this. Or that.” The grin returned. “See?”

  “Can you do silence?” Trying to talk was making him feel alternate waves of dizziness and tiredness.

  Edward held his lips together with his fingers. His muffled voice said, “Of course.” After a pause he settled back in his chair but looked fidgety. Then blurry. Then...

  He awoke a while later feeling a little better and was relieved to find that Edward had gone.

  The next time he woke up another man was there. He had broad shoulders, short black hair and was wearing a uniform. “Hey,” the man greeted quietly in a deep voice.

  “Hey,” he returned, preferring this person already.

  “How you feeling?”

  “I... Don’t know.”

  “Docs said it may take a while for everything to come back.”

  “Oh.”

  “Don’t worry it will.”

  “What’s everything?”

  “Well basically, you were shot in the head.”

  “What!?”

  “It’s OK, they've done some patching up in there.” The man grimaced. “The bits were still there. It’s just...well they said the brain’s got to rewire itself around the repair work. May take a while is all. But at least you're still with us. The consultant said he will talk to you when he catches you awake.”

  “Why was I shot in the head?”

  “A robbery. All armed with serious heat. I got the one who got you. I just wish I’d been two seconds sooner...” The man trailed off and looked at each of the walls then the floor.

  “Am I a police officer or something?”

  The man regarded him warily. “Security guard. You’ve really forgotten everything, haven't you?”

  “Apparently.”

  The man sighed heavily and looked at his watch. “Look, I’m going to be late for my shift. Are you OK or should I fetch a doctor?”

  “I’m OK.”

  “Take it easy then.” The man got up slowly and headed for the door. “I’ll drop by again tomorrow, see you then.”

  “OK see you…umm?”

  The man turned and looked at him kindly. “George.”

  “Thank you George. Err… What’s my name?”

  The look in George’s eyes turned to pure pity. “Francis. You’re Francis.”

  “Thank you.”

  George looked uncomfortable and left.

  “Francis?” he said to himself. He didn’t feel like a Francis but then what did a Francis feel like? Like this, he supposed. He moved a hand that didn’t feel like it belonged to him up to his head and felt for damage. Just bandages and they were painful to touch. He wondered what he looked like then decided it was best if he didn’t look in a mirror right now.

  The consultant came in and said the same thing as George, only with longer words and more tact. Francis (really?) preferred George’s rather blunter way of explaining things. After that he dozed for a while to pass the time.

  When Francis awoke again the green-eyed man was sitting next to him. He sighed internally. Edward tilted his head and gave a lopsided smile. “Mm mm mhhh mnn?” He still had his lips pressed together.

  “What?”

  “Mm mm mmhhh mnnnn?”

  Francis frowned. “Edward, keeping your mouth closed while talking doesn't constitute being quiet.”

  “It doesn't?”

  “No.”

  “So I can talk?”

  “If you must.”

  “Whew, that’s a relief. It was really difficult in the bank today.” Edward smiled. “A queue was starting to build up behind me.”

  Francis wondered if the man was serious for a moment before catching the sparkle in his eyes. He couldn’t help but give a slight smile himself and this caused Edward’s grin to practically encircle his face.

  He must have drifted off again because the next thing he knew Edward was gone and a nurse was next to him removing a full bag of something. Oh. He had a catheter in. The doctor came in next and asked if he wanted something to eat. He said no but when she seemed concerned about this he agreed to try a piece of jelly and she left.

  He was wide awake now so counted the tiles on the ceiling. Twice. He was about to start counting for a third time when to his relief George came in.

  “Hey,” Francis greeted.

  “Hey,” George returned. “How’s it going?”

  “They want me to eat a jelly.”

  “Piece of piss, right?”

  “Yeah,” Francis agreed feeling hollow. He didn’t want to have to eat. When he moved his limbs it felt like they belonged to someone else, it was deeply disturbing so he wanted to ignore them, at least while he had the IV for nutrition.

  George was silent for a while, he looked at Francis with concern but didn’t say anything.

  Then the jelly arrived. Francis regarded it with animosity until the nurse propped him up to eat it. Then his head spun and he could see jellies everywhere. Eventually there was just one again and he picked up a spoon with an effort of will. “So who am I?” he asked George.

  “Huh?”

  “Can you tell me who I am? Everything about me that you know.”

  “Well, we’ve worked together for ten years but you’ve never spoken much about yourself. You’re a very private person.” Francis aimed for the jelly and missed. “But we go out once a week so I do know a few things.”

  “And?” He got some jelly on the spoon this time.

  “I know that y
ou’re thirty-four years old. You don’t have any contact with your family; your mother died when you were a baby and something happen when you were young that caused a rift with your father.”

  Francis blinked a few times at the news of his Mother’s death but mainly felt numb. “What happened between my father and I?”

  “You never said.”

  “What else?”

  “Well, you're very focused on you job, that’s your main interest. You’re the most experienced security guy in the company.” George was looking at him with respect Francis didn’t feel was deserved as he just about managed to get some jelly into his mouth. “Am I gay?” he asked after swallowing it, remembering what Edward had implied.

  “Well, you told me that you were.”

  “But?”

  “Well I’ve never seen you with a guy or heard you talk about anyone in the ten years I’ve know you.”

  “It doesn't sound like I had much of a life.”

  “You did, you enjoyed your work and I think you enjoyed going out with us. As the only three gay guys in the company we stuck together and went to the The Buck every Friday.”

  “A gay pub?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you think I enjoyed it?

  “I know you did. I mean yeah, you were quiet most of the time but you never said you wanted to stay home.”

  “So Edward was the other one?”

  “Yep.” George grinned. “I’m surprised you could forget him.”

  Francis knew it was a joke but it made him feel so cold. He gave up on the jelly and suddenly found tears were running down his cheeks.

  “Hey,” George frowned. “I’m sorry. It will be OK. It will-”

  “Can you let me have a minute?”

  “OK.” George stood up looking awkward. “I’ll come back tomorrow. Ed will be along soon.”

  Francis looked down at the bedcovers. When he looked up George was gone. He pushed the tray with the jelly away and lay down on his side and cried.

  Chapter Two

  Edward frowned at the vending machine: It was out of chocolate bars. He selected his second favourite; a raisin and nut bar, and tore into it as George walked down the corridor towards him. “Any better?” he asked.

  “Worse.”

  Edward grimaced.

  George shrugged. “Doc says he’ll start physio tomorrow. That will get him moving again at least. We always knew recovery would be slow.”

  “Yeah I know. It’s just I imagined I’d kiss him, and he’d wake up and fall in love with me, and we’d live happily ever after and-”

  “Oh, ha ha, You are not prince fucking charming.”

  “I know. I know. But what about that imprinting thing, huh?”

  “What imprinting thing?” George frowned.

  “Where newly hatched birds latch onto the first thing they see.”

  “There are a number of problems with that in relation to Francis.”

  “I know. But just in case. I didn’t want him to imprint on a female doctor. Yuk.”

  “So that’s why you sat by him every day he was in the coma?”

  “You know it’s not,” Edward mumbled and looked at the floor.

  “I know.”

  “Well. I’m going to go and see him then. Even if he’s grumpy again it’s still better than talking to you.” He stuck his tongue out at George who stuck his own tongue out in reply.

  “Hey, give him a minute will you?”

  Edward frowned. “Why?”

  “He was crying when I left.”

  “What! You left him crying?”

  “You know what he gets like when people see his emotions. He was embarrassed.”

  “You left him crying?” Edward turned and ran down the corridors.

  He reached Francis’s room in under a minute but was panting so took a few deep breaths before going in.

  Francis was lying on his side with tear stained cheeks. He looked asleep, Edward gazed at the relaxed face and delicate eyelashes in front of him and was soothed. Then one eyelid opened to reveal a crystal blue eye. “You again?”

  “Yep.”

  Francis sighed and rolled onto his back. On the table attached to his bed was a jelly with a tiny dent in it. Edward sat down in the chair and got comfortable.

  Eventually Francis said, “There are thirty-three tiles on this ceiling.”

  “I know. The last room you were in had thirty-one. When you were in intensive care it only had twenty-four.” Francis turned and gave him an odd look. “But they were bigger tiles,” he explained.

  After a minute Francis slowly moved his head back and looked up at the tiles again. It broke Edward’s heart to see him so lifeless, he barely moved more now than he had done in the coma.

  “Hey, how about some jelly?” he asked, keeping his tone light but well aware that Francis needed to start eating soon.

  “No thanks.”

  “Come on.” Edward stood up and loaded some jelly onto the spoon. “It’s a jelly plane look. You can swallow the jelly plane right?” The jelly plane took off and flew round the room with as many sound effects as Edward could manage. It steered a course towards Francis's mouth but as soon as Edward saw the look on Francis's face he knew he’d made a mistake.

  “Get out,” Francis snarled. “Now.”

  “But...” Edward returned the jelly plane to the bowl for a neat landing.

  “Get out!”

  Edward kicked at the floor but left the room. It was too cold and dark to go outside so he trudged round a lap of the hospital which took half an hour before peering into Francis’s room with the caution of someone sticking their head into the lion’s enclosure at a zoo. Francis was asleep and snoring very gently. Edward let himself back in and sat in the chair.

  Chapter Three

  Francis woke up to a sharp beam of light breaking through a gap in the pastel blue curtains: Morning. His eyes moved round the room, avoiding the painful shaft of light, and found Edward sleeping in the chair. Francis’s insides twisted as he remembered how the man had humiliated him last night.

  Someone came in and cleared up the jelly at last. He was glad as its presence had made him feel like a failure. But the activity woke Edward, who yawned and stretched.

  “Why did you sleep here?” Francis demanded. “Don’t you have a home to go to?”

  “Yes,” Edward admitted and yawned again. “But I wanted to apologise as soon as you woke up. For the jelly plane.”

  “Let’s never talk of the jelly plane again.”

  “Done.” Edward grinned.

  The doctor came in, Doctor Ellis, Francis could see from her name plate. She checked his blood pressure and told him he needed to eat.

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “You won’t be until you start eating again. At least have another jelly to get your stomach working.”

  “No. It tasted of nothing anyway.”

  “Then try a different flavour.”

  “No.”

  She frowned. “Why not?”

  “Because that won’t taste of anything either and then I’ll know nothing will ever taste of anything ever again.”

  “It will come back.”

  “So everyone keeps saying.”

  “Look, it’s normal to feel depressed and disoriented upon coming out of a coma. I’ll get you an appointment with a psychologist.”

  “I don’t want one.”

  “Then talk to your friend,” she pointed to Edward. “Or you will have to.” She swept out of the room.

  Edward leaned forward expectantly.

  “You are not my friend. I don’t even know you.”

  Edward's face crumpled, he got up and walked out blinking rapidly. Francis regretted his harsh words even though they were true. He started crying again.

  Half an hour later Edward returned looking a little red around the eyes. He held out two bars of chocolate triumphantly. “They’re back,” he said, “and I got us one each.” He put one down on Francis’s tray and
unwrapped the other. “Much better than jelly, eh?” he said, ignoring the fact that Francis wasn't eating his.

  “I’m sorry,” Francis mumbled.

  “Hey, you don’t need to apologise.”

  “I wish I remembered.”

  “I do too.”

  “What if it doesn't come back, not even one little thing?”

  “It will.”

  “But what if it doesn't?”

  “Then you’ll still recover, right?”

  “I hope so.” Francis watched Edward demolish his chocolate bar. “I wish I remembered what happened with my father.”

  “Should we try and contact him?”

  “No,” Francis found himself saying quickly. “No, there must have been a good reason…”

  A nurse came in with some toast and Francis was glad of the interruption. Both he and Edward looked at the toast for a while. Eventually Edward said, “Umm… If you like I could cut it into smaller pieces?”

  “I’m not a baby.” The words came out harsher than he’d intended and he winced.

  “I know.” Edward looked helpless and lost. “Sorry. I’m just trying to help.”

  “You can help by leaving me in peace for a while.” Francis could feel the prickle of tears building again, along with the associated shame.

  “OK.” Edward got up slowly. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Later.”

  As soon as Edward disappeared Francis breathed a sigh of relief, but the approaching tears didn’t come.

  Francis found himself wondering how bad he looked so battled with his disobedient arms until his hands were on his face. It felt intact, so however he looked before the accident was how he looked now. He had black hair, he could see that from the hair on his arms. He felt for his nose and ears, both were small and neat, it appeared he was fairly average looking which he was grateful for. Not that he was too worried about his appearance, just bored. After the exertion he got his limbs back by his side and had a rest.

  A nurse came to check on him and removed his catheter, a procedure which hurt and left him sore. He lay on one side for a while then switched to the other, wishing he could sleep.